Does our memory focus on the positive and screen out the negative?

Have you ever recommended a book or movie to someone, and then when you went back to read the book or watch the movie, you were surprised by some of the negative content that you had forgotten about? That is, did you have a tendency to remember the good parts and to forget the negative parts?

I had this experience this week. I was excited to go to a Book Group that was new to me because they would be discussing, “House of Spirits,” by Isabelle Allende. I was excited because I love the Magical Realism genre and Allende is considered one of the first writers in this genre. I loved the character Clara from the book and so I immediately suggested this book to my regular Book Group list, inviting them to join me at the Book Discussion.

Only then did I begin to skim the book in order to be prepared for the book discussion.

Imagine my surprise to run across all of the violence against women in the book that I had not remembered. In fact, as I read about the main character raping peasant girls, I was immediately sorry that I had recommended this book to my friends. It is, in fact, a hard read if you are sensitive to violence against women.

I had to ask myself, how is it that I only recalled the good parts of the book and not the bad?

As I participated in the book discussion last night, I met a woman that could not get past this violence in the book and so she did not read it. Only in the middle of that discussion did I recall that this had happened to me before with another book, “The Temple of my Familiar,” by Alice Walker. I had suggested this book to different friends and family members, and then when I had the opportunity to re-read it, I became distressed by all of the stories about enslaved men and women that I had forgotten and that were really hard to read.

I shared this experience with the group last night and a third woman agreed that someone had suggested Walker’s book as a beautiful book, and she was so surprised to run across all of the violence and cruelty when she read it. She shared that she has experienced the same phenomenon with movies. That is, she has suggested a movie that she remembered loving and then when she watched it again, she was surprised by the negative scenes that she had forgotten.

In fact, she went on to share that this same phgenomenon happened with her grandmother. After her grandmother died, she said, she could have listed all of the bad things that she remembered about her grandmother, but now, looking back, she only remembers the good memories.

How is it that we remember the good parts of a book or movie or a relationship and ignore the offensive aspects?

Perhaps this is explained well in these song lyrics from “Memories,” sung by Barbara Streisand:

“Memories may be beautiful and yet
What’s too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget.
So it’s the laughter we will remember
Whenever we remember…”

Has this happened to you?
I find this really curious and am interested in your comments below.

Warm Regards,

Pammyla
http://www.pammyla.com/

Five Reasons to See the Musical “Wicked” (No spoilers)

I have seen so many plays in my life and recommend this one more than any other one I have seen.

There are 5 reasons why it is important to drop everything and see this musical when it comes to your town.

1) The plot is fantastic. There are many twists and turns that will keep you off-balance. I adore clever plots. Did you know that Glenda the Good Witch and the Wicked Witch of the West were roommates in college? Then, they fell for the same guy, and the story goes on from there. You will also learn where the Cowardly Lion and Scarecrow came from. Haven’t you always wanted to know? (Let me explain that this musical, “Wicked,” is nothing at all like the book. The musical was written by a woman who writes for television and so it is upbeat and fun, where the book was dark and gloomy. If you have not yet read the book, I strongly recommend that you see the musical instead.)

2) The music is fantastic. I do not typically purchase Broadway soundtracks, but when I saw this musical in Chicago two years ago, I had to buy the soundtrack so I could listen to my favorite songs over and over. The music is written by the talented Steven Sondheim. Some of it is dark, and yet there are beautiful songs including one love song, “As Long As You're Mine.” Yes, it is a love story, too, and I’m not even going to tell you which witch sings it!

3) The play shows that there is more than one side to every story. Although we all know the green witch in the Wizard of Oz as the epitome of the Wicked Witch, this musical explains that she wasn’t an evil person. She had good intentions; she was just misunderstood. This musical totally helps us to see her side of the story, which helps us to remember to have more compassion for other people because everyone has their own side of the story.

4) The musical helps us to modify our concept and connotation of the word “Witch.” We identify with this green woman and understand her humanity because it reminds us of our own feelings when we felt like an outsider. Her story of fighting injustice will resonate with us when we understand her cause and what she is fighting for.

5) The special effects are fun and worth the price of admission itself. OK, I haven’t seen the touring production, but I assume they will have the flying monkeys and other fantastic special effects that were in place in the Chicago production.

So for these five reasons and more, I urge you to purchase tickets for Wicked when it comes through your town. (It will be in Austin at Bass Concert Hall August, 2009.) It is appropriate for children, and your young girls will love it!